SAMM.
Looks like the only friends I have are my girlfriend, her sister, and Lindsey. Since my best friend doesn’t want to talk to me. But she can talk to my girlfriend. This is cool.
I want you to know that when I was with you, I was the happiest I could possibly be. You were always enough and you will always be enough. I’ve never loved another like I love you and I never will. What we had was a once in a lifetime love, there’s no doubt about that. And I know I’ve made and broken promises to you, but this is one I will make myself keep, one I so desperately want to keep: I promise to be your best friend. I promise to be there in the wee hours of the night when you’re fighting with your new girlfriend and you just need someone to talk to. I promise to come pick you up when your mom’s drunk and making you mad. I promise to have 5 hour phone calls where you just spill everything that’s on your mind to me. I promise to have monthly best friend days where we turn our phones off and spend time with only each other. I promise to be the best friend I can be because I was a shitty girlfriend. I promise I’ll be there through every fight, every bad name you call me, and every time you tell me you wish I would leave you. Because I know you better than that. You need me just as badly as I need you. We need to stop fighting this need and just embrace it. We’re meant to be together, even if it is just as friends. I promised you forever, and forever is what I’ll keep. I love you, Lindsey Nicole Norton. And I hope eventually you can trust me enough to open up to me like you have been recently. I believe we can have the most amazing friendship. I’ll be seeing you. ♥
Heartbreak.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so torn.
Everyone’s telling me, “I’m so happy you two are together! You’re meant to be. Don’t ever break up.” And a few months ago, I would have been more than ecstatic to hear those words.
You broke me. More than once. You made me feel like nothing I ever did for you was good enough. You say it was, but talk is cheap. You never really showed me I was enough. You may think you did, but how? By leaving me four times, promising every time was the last and that you weren’t coming back?
Not to point fingers, but if you hadn’t shattered my heart into a million pieces and left me, there wouldn’t even be a decision to make. I’d be all yours, no questions asked. And I know you say, “Well you’re the one that went and got into another relationship. I never really moved on.” But do you know why I moved on? I met someone who understood every inch of me. She understands my scars and why I have them, she even has some of her own. She knows what it’s like to want to die and what it’s like to actually try and make it happen. She knew I wasn’t over you and that I wasn’t willing or able to give her all I had yet and she didn’t care. She didn’t ask anything of me but simply to love her. She notices the little things. Honestly, I’ve never met someone so perfect for me.
And I know you’re going to say, “Then go be with her! It’s obvious she’s perfect for you, so why are you dragging me along?” But I’m not. I want to be with you just as badly. I’ve never loved another as much as I have loved you. But how much can I take until I break? I think a part of me is scared to leave you. I don’t want to leave the comfort I feel in your smile. How after anything that’s gone on in my life, I can come to you and feel completely at ease. I don’t want to leave your sister (as weird as that sounds) and the way she can make me laugh at pretty much anything. I don’t want to leave the cute text messages and the smile that spreads across my face when I get them. I don’t want to lose the way you say I love you in your sleepy voice.
I don’t know. I’m just rambling now. I probably don’t make any sense. So I’m going to stop here.
make me out to be a bitch. Do anything you need to do to get over me. Completely remove me from your life if you have to. Tell everyone how big of a bitch I am. Make all of your friends hate me. Delete me off Facebook, unfollow me on Tumblr. It’s obvious you want nothing to do with me anyway.
that doesn’t mean I won’t get jealous when I see you with someone else. Doesn’t mean I won’t cry when I find out you’re flirting with someone else or talking to someone else. I loved you and I still do. You really were perfect. I didn’t lie about that. I don’t deserve you and I never will.
